Down the road…

I’m revisiting this post from one of my tour stops last month.  It was one of my favorites, since it brought up some great memories.

I’m not a big traveler.  I mean, I’d like to be, I’d like to be toodling around in a giant Winnebago or flying off to exotic locales like ones I read about.  But my very blue collar world doesn’t include scenarios like that.  I’ve only really been on a few big trips in my life.

A big vacation when I was in the fourth grade brought me to the Grand Canyon and all up the West Coast.  I’ve been scuba diving in Grand Cayman and Cozumel and Honduras.  I’ve been to London.  I’ve been skiing in Taos, NM.  All of those things were in my twenties.  And I went to Vegas for my honeymoon.  That about sums up my travelling portfolio.

But one trip that wasn’t a vacation, stands out in my head as life altering.

When my daughter was five, her dad and I called it quits.  We were living in Colorado at the time, a beautiful, majestic place.  Also rivaling California for expensive living.  I couldn’t afford to live there on my own, and I didn’t want to.  It was time to move back home.  To Texas.  To family.

The small town I was going back to would be very different from what I was leaving behind.  I knew that.  I knew I was making the conscious choice to raise my daughter in an entirely different lifestyle.  She would be a blue-collar Texas girl, like I was.  So my dad and my brother rented a uHaul truck and drove the 2-day stretch to come help me pack up everything I owned, and we left.

I remember looking in the rearview mirror with tears in my eyes as I watched the big rock formation in Castle Rock, Colorado disappear around a bend.

I knew I’d never be back.  I felt the loss as I drove through mountain passes and little picturesque towns.  I looked at my daughter, coloring in a Barbie coloring book, who really wasn’t old enough to register what she was leaving behind, and both celebrated that fact and regretted it.

I got to spend precious moments with my dad, that I didn’t really realize was precious at the time.  We stopped and ate at little mom and pop diners along the way, and stayed at the tiniest roach motel I’ve ever seen…lol…  I remember pulling up finally, at the end of the second day, into my mother’s driveway.  Thinking:  “I’m finally home” and “Oh my God, what have I done” at the very same time.  I had no house, no job, no security for my daughter other than a support system of family.  I got us there two weeks before Kindergarten started, so she’d start in one place and not have to move in the middle.

One month later, I found a rent house and a job in the very same day.  And five years later my dad died…with my mom to follow eight months after that.  My choice gave my daughter a chance to know them, hang out with them almost daily.  She has deep rooted memories that I wish could have lasted longer but at least they are there.  She’s 17 now, and remembers certain activities with them vividly.

I still miss Colorado sometimes, but I’ve been here for twelve years now, have remarried into a wonderful family and have fully reinstated my Texas drawl and attitude.  It’s home again.

Do you have a trip that changed your life in some way?  Share!

The Wonder of Wildlife

This weekend the kids and I went to Jupiter Beach, Florida.  It’s turtle season which means the females head for shore to lay their eggs.  Instinct drives them to wade up the sandy beach, dig a hole, deposit their eggs, bury them safe and secure and then head back out to sea, never to see the babes again.  It’s an incredible sight to see, one my husband and I stumbled upon years ago.  We happened to be walking the beach late at night during a full moon and spotted the gal doing her business.  Careful not to disturb her, we enjoyed watching, witnessing a miracle of nature in process.

Now intentionally waiting for turtles to arrive on is a whole different story.  You park yourself on the beach and sit.  And wait, with no guarantee you’ll see the first turtle. 

Granted it’s not as bad as watching paint dry.  I mean, at least you have the waves lapping at your feet, the moon spilling its light onto the ocean’s surface, but after a while, the kids get a bit antsy.

“When are the turtles coming?”

“Why aren’t they here yet?”

It’s kind of distracts from the ambiance, the gorgeous setting.  We’re not the only ones there.  Others are here for the same purpose.  But at some point, it becomes intolerable.  It becomes:  too late to wait.

When is that point?  An hour?  Two?  When more people around you are beginning to immerse themselves in one another as opposed to the turtle watch?  The questions then become, “Mom, what are those people doing?”

Enjoying the scenery, dear.  But I don’t dare voice the same.  My son is at the age he’ll ask the obvious outright while my daughter would rather wince at the mere thought of what they “might” be doing.  We held our patience for about an hour and 20 minutes.  Pretty good, considering it was 10:30 at night after a long day at the beach.  We were sad to go and hoped to find evidence of their arrival the next day.

We didn’t.  This stake was from April.  Volunteers scout the beach at night and mark the new nests with a stake, labeled with the date eggs were deposited.  My girlfriend lives in Jupiter and has better luck with turtles.  She sent us this picture of a mammoth leatherback that landed across the street from her condo building.  This turtle was quite the attraction during the early morning hours–one we’re sorry we missed.

If you ever have a chance to visit Jupiter during turtle season, take it.  And if you’re not up for the midnight turtle watch, do stop by the Loggerhead Visitors Center. Located just down the street in Juno Beach, they have real life turtles on hand and plenty of education regarding the same.  In fact, this trip I learned that female turtles make this trek to the beach several times a season, then come back a few years later for another round.  On average, their eggs take two months to hatch and then the little babies flee their burial ground for the sea.

One year the kids and I were fortunate enough to witness this “baby dash.”  Unfortunately for my children, they were too young to remember and I unprepared to snap away the photos leaving it an event we seek to repeat.  Needless to say, it was memorable.

What’s your most memorable wildlife experience?

Nobody puts Baby in a corner….

I’m recycling a post from my blog tour earlier this month, since it was fun to play with.   Enjoy!

So let’s chat about some of our favorite movie or book couples of all time.  Actually most of these are movies, but that’s what came to mind.

Titanic – Jack and Rose – How much did you cry when Jack gave up his place on the—plank?  Whatever it was, I was yelling, “There’s fifty others floating around, fool!”  And then what tears when Rose pried Jack’s frozen fingers from hers and let him go, saying, “I’ll never let go.”  I blubbered like a baby.  Every time I’ve seen it.

Gone With The Wind – Scarlett and Rhett – A smart-mouthed woman and an arrogant man that can’t get enough of her no matter how many times he tries to walk away.  “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

When Harry Met Sally – Harry and Sally – Women and men can’t just be friends, at least not in the movies, and not when it’s hysterical Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan.  Finally realizing their love over “Auld Lang Syne”.  And then there was that café scene where Sally proves the math that every woman knows.  Every woman has done it, and every man swears it’s never happened to them.  Go figure that one.

Rocky – Rocky and Adrian – “Adriaaaaaaaan!”  Enough said.

Tarzan – Tarzan and Jane – Who doesn’t love a story about a proper lady turned primal by a jungle man?  “Tarzan love Jane.”

Grease – Danny and Sandy – “Summer Lovin….he got friendly holdin’ my haaannnnd.”  “She got friendly…down in the saaannnnd.”  Yeah, Danny, really?  But nothing like a boy who’s willing to change his whole identity for her, while she does the same.  Awwwwww…

Forrest Gump – Forrest and Jenny – “My momma said life is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re gonna get.”  Forrest spends his whole life accidentally falling into fortune, while following the love of his life in one way or another.  She’s all he wants, even when she ditches him, time and time again.  And even when she’s dying.  That’s true love.

Dirty Dancing – Baby and Johnny – I saved this one for last.  “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”  Oh dear God, who didn’t melt all over the floor on that one?  Wealthy girl meets poor boy and defies Daddy to be with her Johnny.  We miss you Patrick.

Okay!  So tell me more.  Who did I miss?  What are your favorite couples????

I want to be the Grasshopper…

It’s been a month of crazy for me, how about you?  LOL. 

April 3rd was the release of my debut novel THE REASON IS YOU, I had guest authors giving away books, a blog tour kicked off, a cover reveal for BEFORE AND EVER SINCE, and now I’m trying to pull my brain back together.  Between promoting REASON, working my day job, and this weekend’s spiritual retreat, I feel very stretched….

Ever feel like that?   I probably really need that retreat.  LOL!!

But it’s all been good.  I’m very blessed.  And in looking back on past posts over the last six months, I’ve noticed a large trend of anxiety and harried stressed posts on my part.  Hmmm, not sure I’m happy about that.    Clearly, I need to find a calmness. 

I think I would find that in a maid.

You see, other than cloning, which probably wouldn’t be reasonable…and quitting the day job, which wouldn’t be possible…  a maid that would have my house clean and sparkly when I get home from the day job…would be like Xanadu to me.

Do you hear the music?  I can’t even imagine.

Being able to just come home and sit down to write, while looking around inhaling “clean”.

*sound of record scratching*

Okay, back to reality.  But on the upside, when I post again in two weeks sans retreat… I should be full of peace and love and serenity.  Till then, grasshopper…

What Have I Done For You Lately?

My son turned 18 on March 15th.  He’s not the most independent young person I’ve ever known.  As a matter of fact, he’s not independent at all.  Not to turn this into one of those rants about “back in MY day”, HOWEVER, when I was his age I had applied to numerous colleges, selected which college I’d be attending, had already decided to study in Europe for my junior year, picked a major, and was applying for scholarships and financial aid.

My son has no idea what he’s doing “today”.  Tomorrow is a word he can barely say, and he certainly doesn’t understand the meaning of the word “future”.  If a scholarship essay is due tomorrow, he’ll start on it the previous evening.  Everything is “last minute”, rushed, and therefore never looked over twice or edited or thought about for more than a few minutes.  Preparedness does not exist in his vocabulary.

Therefore, I find myself helping him get everything done on time.  Is this enabling him or should I just let him fall on his face until he “gets it”?  Of course when he was growing up I did everything for him.  Duh.  He was a kid.  But he’s still a kid.  He is no more prepared for life on his own now than he was when he was 3 years old.  These past two years we’ve been trying to “prepare” him for life in the big people’s world and although he says we treat him like a baby, he doesn’t manifest any behavior indicating that he’s any older than a toddler.

This entire head discussion I’ve been having with myself was prompted by his telling me last night that I never make him any meals any more.  THAT was prompted by the fact that his 13-year-old sister has been sick for the last 5 days with a high fever and a cough and I’ve had to do everything for her.  He sees me being the maid for her and wanted the same.  And I thought to myself, what the heck is he talking about?  I’ve done everything for him for most of his life and he’s complaining that I don’t fix him dinners any longer?  Could it be because he’s never around and doesn’t call to tell me whether he’s even coming home for dinner anyway?  Or could it be that every time I set dinner down on the table he screws up his face and says he won’t eat it.

Hello?  Do I feel under-appreciated or what?