Daily Archives: August 29, 2011

Raising Boys and Girls

Over the weekend I was able to spend some quality one on one time with kids—each had a sleepover leaving the other all to me (and my husband, but this isn’t about him!J).  And with each child of mine—one daughter, one son—I noticed our time together went quite differently.

Raising boys is NOT the same as raising girls, despite what my college self thought. Okay, what my college self argued, rallied against and completely refused to accept, even well into her twenties! Forget the fact that my best girlfriend was having children and speaking from actual experience—oh, no. That wasn’t enough to sway me from my position. I was a double psychology major.  I knew that boys and girls were different because of socialization. You remember the old nature vs. nurture debate, don’t you?

Yes, well, I’m here to tell you boys and girls are born different. They come spitting out of their mother’s body with a unique set of features and I would say, a unique disposition as well. And for those of you speculating, yes, I do believe in astrology. When Aries stop leading the charge and Sagittarius stop proving to be the life of the party, I’ll reconsider. Until then, I’m going with it!

With time, I’ve come to see our personalities as a mix of nature-nurture.  My daughter wants to bake and talk.  She wants her hair combed with your fingers.  She wants to know if her outfit looks all right. My son doesn’t care what he’s wearing or that it’s covered in wrinkles or mud. He wants to ride his bike fast, catch air over dirt mounds—with me watching of course. He does enjoy an audience. (Now is that his Leo moon or the boy himself? Not sure.)

But my son likes to talk—something I tell him the girls are gonna love! While he could care less about girls he does like to gab, gab, gab and usually about things he “knows” all about.  He informs me of facts and figures, stats and stunts. He tells me how much air he caught, how it’s higher than anyone else, ever. In addition to “knowing” things, I’ve noticed that boys like to be the best at everything, too.

But he’s a lover. (Of course he is—he’s a Scorpio!) At night he wants to snuggle with his mom. He wants me to lie down beside him as he puts his head to pillow and if I would, sleep with him all night long. While it sounds excessive, it’s a far cry less than he used to want, stealing through the house at night, slipping into our bed, tucking himself safe and secure between his father and I.

My daughter rarely made this trek.  And while she wants you to play with her hair at night, she wants her space. A good thing, because our bed isn’t big enough for the four of us! 

Though at times I wish it were…  I’m a snuggler and would much rather cuddle with my children than sleep a full eight hours alone.  As to raising boys and girls, I love that my kids are unique and distinct. Slow and soft makes a nice ride through life while fast and hard keeps it thrilling!  How about you?

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