What’s your number?

There’s a movie out called What’s Your Number? It’s a romantic comedy about a woman in search of love who reads a magazine article that claims 96% of women with over 20 lovers are unlikely to ever find true love/marriage partner.  The heroine freaks out and decides she’d better search back through her “twenty” in order to find the one she missed!

As I saw the ad for this movie, the similarities between it and my current release struck me.  My heroine is decidedly single and wants no part of love and commitment.  She loves men and she loves the physical connection she enjoys with them.  Twenty?  Thirty?  Why should the number even matter when she’s not looking for Mr. Right? 

And is this number different for men than it is for women?  Back in the day when my parents married, a woman had one–her husband–while men had as many as it took for them to “settle down.”  These days young women seem to play the field as hard as any man–my heroine included.  Is this a good thing?  A bad thing?  Is it irrelevant?

Being an independent woman who married later in life (for the second time), I’ve had more than one and it occurs to me that while some things are changing, some things remain the same.  Women still bear the children.  There are consequences to pay should the play go foul.  But should this impact their number?  With all our technological advances in medicine and prevention, should we alter our behavior?

What do you think?


Posted on October 24, 2011, in Blog Posts. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Should we alter our behavior? I don’t think so. It has been a long, long road to prove we can be independent and take care of ourselves and are as smart as any man and on and on. I believe we’d be sliding backward if we go back to believing it’s okay for men to do such and such but women cannot, JUST because they’re female.

  2. Ditto big time to Patti’s comments. We are more than we know. Read a funny article by Porter Anderson on Jane Friedman’s blog. Some nonsense about women dominating publishing, writers, editors, agents. Boo hoo. It doesn’t bother me if men dominate war, crooked banks and football. A man in the article said he wanted to be a male Joan Didion 🙂 Love them though we may, we also do better when left alone to our own resources. Don’t kid yourself about that weaker sex business. WE might have come from “his” rib, but we improved on the model from day one!

  3. Men may be physically stronger as a general rule. They may have the muscles to pull us out of a bind. But emotionally, women kick men’s butt any day. And watch any man deal with the flu, compared to a woman who still has to get kids ready, do the laundry, make lunches…and maybe finally get to go lay down. And childbirth…yeah.

    As far as sexual behavior, yes, things have changed with how open women are. We can be as promiscuous as we want to be now, and not much is thought of it. But then again…go to a bar. A single man can walk in a sports bar and go sit at the bar alone and that’s okay. A single woman goes in that same sports bar alone and goes to sit at the bar, and everyone that sees her is thinking she’s asking for it. And she’ll probably get it, too.

    So maybe things haven’t changed as much as we think they have?

    I don’t have large numbers in my history. I lived with a man for several years and I’m on my second marriage. And there were others in between, and I’m still under 10 (smile). But then I never was able to do the casual thing…always had to be in love. Not everyone is wired like that.


  4. Society is changing and it is definitely easier for women to set their own standard of acceptable behavior in and out of the bedroom. While times have changed, I still think it is up to women to decide how many partners she is comfortable having or if she even wants to count. I don’t think setting a number standard is a good idea. Life happens, things happen and as long as each individual woman is comfortable with the choices she’s made, that’s all that counts.

    I do hope this movie doesn’t start a number asking trend because I really don’t want to have to answer that question!

  5. You women are brilliant. I’m enjoying reading everyone’s comments and don’t have anything to add other than I’m glad to live in today’s world where we have the freedom to be — and do — who we want. 🙂

  6. Love it! Yes, women are the more emotionally powerful gender, I agree. And we have reached equality status on so many levels but will we ever reach equality on this one? In the eyes of all who look on?

    That’s a tough one. Slut/stud, childbirth and the like–

    I think it’s true: we can only do the best we can, live our lives as we see fit and be content with our choices. As far the new question? Don’t ask me mine and I won’t ask you yours! (wink, wink)

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