Specimen Selection

Friend of mine’s daughter is getting married.  Yep, she’s excited, fearful, concerned, panicked—the gamut.  While she likes the fellow very much, a mother always reserves the right to judge.  After all, it is HER baby we’re talking here and she wants what’s best.

But what is best?  And for whom? Now, this all depends on our tastes, doesn’t it?  Some like it fruity, some like it tart.  Some like it sweet and some like it hot.  What it is, doesn’t matter so long as you know what it is that you like.  (Otherwise, you’ll be growing all kinds of things only to give them away, because they don’t suit your tastes!) 

Now why am I talking produce all of a sudden?  Because it’s that time of year in my garden.  And mind you, the premise works for both husbands and vegetables.  First, when it comes to specimen selection, the fellow (or veggie) must fulfill your needs.  Whether you’re seeking the proper balance for your daily diet, or the simple pleasure of beauty to fill your senses, you must decide what’s right for you. 

And while it would be nice to combine ALL of our wants into one big, robust plant that served all of our needs, it’s not normal.   No.  It would be like messing with Mother Nature’s natural order, whereby you could end up with a hybrid of sorts!  Remember:  those don’t reproduce well

A specimen with your must-haves is best.  Like I must-have meaty, fleshy tomatoes, because my end game is to make sauce.  Big, round juicy ones simply won’t do.  They just won’t serve me well (despite their delightful description!).  So I’ll choose Roma-type tomatoes versus Beefsteak.

Pumpkins sound harmless enough, but they can be a downright nuisance.  They spread their vines in every direction and can literally take over the landscape.  Try as you may to stop them–even remove them– they continue to return.  It’s a plant that doesn’t allow for much else to thrive and should be well-controlled for best results.  Think:  oppressive mother-in-law.

Yes, well, some of you know exactly what I mean.  While marriage is a beautiful thing, it is supposed to last a lifetime.  A tough proposition to say the least, because as my husband so aptly put it:  the one thing in life you cannot control is your spouse.  Was this a hint?

Sure was—and a good one at that!  As mothers we can advise, counsel, take under our wing and nurture, but we cannot control our spouse.  Or our adult children, for that matter.  And like the mother bird who watches her child take that first leap from the nest, we worry whether or not they’ll land on their feet.  If they get hurt? We flock to their side.  We want nothing to harm our babies!

But sometimes, hurt is part of the process. Not every marriage makes it the first time.  Mine didn’t.  And while it was sad, it has served to make my second (and current marriage) stronger.

So what’s a poor mother to do?  I imagine she’s too busy pondering that question.  She has a wedding to plan!

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Posted on January 16, 2012, in Blog Posts and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Love your garden analogies, Dianne! Yes, finding the right man takes time and patience. I only hope your friend’s daughter dated this man long enough to discover what lies under his pretty wrapping. I wish them as much success in their marriage as you have in your garden!

  2. Thanks, Christy! It’s a tough decision–one with LONG standing consequences. I wish them well!

  3. Hi Dianne! I enjoyed your veggie analogies as well. And I had never thought of it that way – that no ONE veggie satisfies all of our tastes, but if we’re looking for a particular type of vegetable, we probably have a favorite. And, hopefully, our spouse can be that favorite vegetable. Now, if we were looking for a mate who was a combo of all our favorite veggies, that might be a road to disaster. The most important thing to remember is that no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. No one will satisfy every single need we have in life.

  4. Exactly. I believe it’s OUR job to fulfill our needs, not our partner’s.

  5. Dianne, your pumpkin reminded me of last summer’s zucchini crop. One plant froze out during a late spring frost but the second plant flourished. I kept cutting back the trailing tendrils, believing all the while that the plant was smart enough to put its energy into the existing produce. However, in the fall when I pulled the silly thing up, there was only one zucchini and it was a small one, much too small for the volume of the plant.

    So like zucchini plants, spouses should not be controlled. If let free, they will flourish and bring much richness to a healthy marriage.

    Great post!

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