Memories, Like the Corners of My Mind…

My daughter cried herself to sleep last night after thinking about how fast her childhood has gone by—and she’s twelve! Imagine how I feel, I wanted to tell her. I can still remember the wonder of her birth, her clumsy first steps, and her stubborn refusal to speak before she could form complete sentences.Happy Mother's Day

My little get-up-and-go girl wasn’t one for cuddling (like my pass-out-on-my-shoulder son). One of my fondest memories was when she was just shy of a year and had a hundred and four degree temperature. She felt so poorly, that she let me cuddle her for hours in the emergency room. If I close my eyes, I can still remember the feel of her breath on my neck and the soft cotton of her Onesie as I rubbed her back.

I remember when my son called me a “big, strong woman” when I lifted a box of kitchen pans from Costco into our cart. Now that he’s taller than me, I doubt I’ll hear those words again. This week, he’s studying to get his learner’s permit. How in the hell did this happen?

Time is going by faster than I can catalogue all the memories. One of my greatest fears is getting Alzheimer’s and not being able to remember even the smallest things about my life. But before I jump to a disease that wipes my memories away, I also fear that I may be living each day without truly soaking up all the ways I can spend with my loved ones.

For the last fifteen years, I’ve been blessed—blessed beyond compare—to be a stay at home mom. I wouldn’t trade the experience for all the money, success, or fame in the world. But even being at home with the kids, I still know there were times I was too busy with something else to listen intently, watch them closely, or appreciate the joy of being around them.

So this morning (I’m writing this post on Mother’s Day), while they sleep on the day meant to celebrate my contribution to their lives, I vow to spend the rest of my days doing a better job of being their mom. It’s been the greatest pleasure of my life.

If you get a chance, share a memory of your kids with us. Just thinking of them will make us better mothers.

About Christy Hayes

A wife, a mother and a writer of romantic women's fiction. I love dogs, exercise and cable news.

Posted on May 14, 2012, in Blog Posts and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Misty covered memories of the way we were. We were for so many years the Three Musketeers, me and my two kids. One boy/one girl … my right and my left arm … teaching me more than I taught them. He was born old, she impatient … he grew to be the stoic one, she the dreamer. My most enduring memory of them was the month my daughter was born and I had the post baby blues. The little guy found an old typewriter case and stood on it, and began to tap dance … his round face so serious … “Don’t cry, mom. I’ll dance for you.”

    Yes, like the corners of my mind … the way we were. Thanks, Christy 🙂

    • Christy Hayes

      Such a sweet memory, Florence! Those little guys are so sensitive to how their mom’s feeling! My son was the same way. When his little sister began to cry, he’d rock her in her car seat and bring her toys. Wish I could say the same now. Thanks for sharing!

  2. My favorite memory was when my daughter was a few weeks old. When she’d wake up in the wee hours of the morning, I’d sneak down to the living room and sleep with her on the sofa beneath the twinkling lights of the Christmas time. She was quiet and the house was peaceful. One pre-dawn morning, my then four year old son, followed us down and crawled on the sofa beside us. “I want to wait for Santa with you guys, too!”

    • Christy Hayes

      Precious! Those times went by too fast and I’m wanting them back. Even today I’m still asking myself how this happened??

  3. Yes, I’m asking myself the same question, Christy. Where the hell did the years go? How can my son be 18 and my daughter 13? And I don’t recall a good majority of the days. They were just ordinary days which is why they don’t stand out. We did the same thing day in and day out so nothing stands out a great deal. But I, too, am SO lucky to have been a stay-at-home mom. They know they were and are loved unconditionally. I recall sitting on a gurney with my son when he was 18 months old and had had a febrile seizure from a high temperature. He was my everything and my life. Both my kids still are but they’ve grown so independent that sometimes I feel extraneous to their worlds.

    • Christy Hayes

      They still need us, Patti. My husband lost his mother ten years ago and he’d do anything for one more conversation or hug. Don’t ever feel like you aren’t loved or needed.

  4. I’m getting a late start this morning, but it’s never too late to say what a great post. The funny thing is that I was just eating lunch with Mark and I realized that we had our first date 10 years ago this fall. That’s an eternity for me. He’s been Lyle’s stepfather since Kindergarten and Lyle will start high school next fall.

    Just ‘wow’ how time flies.

  5. We celebrated mother’s day with out moms, who are fortunately still with us. It was a beautiful, sunny, warm day. We wandered through the flowerbeds, looking for plants that haven’t yet poked through the ground. This morning I told my mother-in-law that God always makes sure to give us gorgeous weather for our special day. 🙂

    A memory of my children … there are so many. Instead, Christie, I’ll just tell you that when your children grow up and go out on their own, you get to anticipate the arrival of grandchildren. So there’s hope ahead for a return of those unforgettable childhood hugs. I do miss those.

    Happy belated Mother Day, everyone!

    • Christy Hayes

      God didn’t grant us gorgeous weather, unless we wanted to stay indoors on our special day! Strangely enough, I am already looking forward to grandchildren. Is that weird??

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