The family that lies together, stays sane together!

I’m often quite oblivious to what’s going on around me. Perhaps it’s because I spend so much time in my own imagination. So it should come as no surprise that when my family lies to me— in the name of protecting my sensitive sensibilities— I’m totally oblivious to their deceit.

One Saturday evening, my man and I splurged on a couple of mega-size chocolate bars, and with our treats in hand, sat down to watch TV. My man finished his bar, but I only ate half of mine, so I wrapped up the remains and set it on the end table beside my chair.

On the following Monday, I returned home from the day job, ravenous with hunger. While supper cooked, I decided to alleviate my hunger by scarfing down the rest of my bar. But the bar was gone.

I searched the floor, under the table, under my chair. Nothing, nada, zilch. Not even a piece of the wrapper in the garbage. The only explanation was that my man or boy had found it, consumed it, then hidden the evidence of their crime, which was in truth, odd behaviour for them both. Although I’ve been known to raid their stashes, they never touch mine. But I digress…

The inquisition was on. When my man and boy arrived home from work, they both denied eating the bar. My man suggested I’d woken in the middle of the night, done the deed myself, then forgotten it by morning.

Huh? I’ve never sleepwalked in my life.

The next night after work, too hungry to wait for supper to cook—yes, there’s a pattern here—I widened my search and again found nothing. Perplexed, I emailed our oldest son. Had he dropped in while we were all at work? His answer…a definite no.

Over the next few nights, still fixated on the missing chocolate bar, I searched the house and quizzed my family. But they stuck to the sleepwalking story.

The following Thursday, I headed downstairs for potatoes and opened the cold room door. A mousetrap, along with a poor dead mouse, was on the floor between me and the potatoes.

I closed the door and went back upstairs to cook rice.

Later, my man and boy confessed they’d conspired to keep silent to protect me from myself. They knew me well enough to know that a mouse in the house would bring out my latent crazy gene. If I’d known about the mouse, I’d have had them tearing apart the house until they found the poor frightened creature.

Instead, they quietly resolved the issue, setting traps and determining how the mouse gained access to the house so they could prevent it from happening again.

Has your family ever lied to you to protect you from a similar truth? Or do they man-up, tell you the facts, then live with your craziness?

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About Sheila Seabrook

Author of Single Title Romantic Comedy and Women's Fiction

Posted on May 16, 2012, in Blog Posts and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 33 Comments.

  1. Ah Sheila, that’s so sweet … okay … excuse the pun. Still, it was so nice of them to protect you from yourself. My kids might have woven tales to protect me from my “Italian,” but it was more of an act of self preservation. They told “stories” and preserved their little bums.

    Hey, I thought you were off the chocolate?

    • Yes, still off the chocolate, Florence. In fact, I’d totally forgotten about not eating chocolate, which means obviously I haven’t missed it at all. LOL! This instance happened a couple of years ago and I hope never repeats itself!

      Children certainly do learn how to tell tales early, don’t they? 🙂

  2. Years as a Congressional investigator and a highly advanced ‘spidey sense” keep my family from being able to lie to me. However, we did have a mouse incident once and my husband did the very same thing. I attribute his success in hiding the mouse and the trap from me to the fact that it was Christmas time with two small children and a new puppy in the house. Things were just too chaotic for me to notice. Until the puppy found it in the trap, of course. Not pretty.

    As far as missing chocolate, that’s a felony in this house. No one touches mom’s chocolate. Not if they want to live and tell about it. 🙂

    • Oh boy, Tracy, I can just imagine the scene when your puppy found the mouse. Probably thought it was a toy, huh? Okay, maybe we won’t go there … I’m eating supper right now. LOL! 🙂

  3. If I put a candy bar next to my “area” in the family room it, too, would be gone. I have to hide it if I want to see it ever again. I put things in my bedroom near my jewelry, where nobody goes or in some other innocuous place. Then again, whenever I buy candy I get enough so that they have their own and shouldn’t be stealing mine. Doesn’t work every time, though.
    Patti

    • I don’t have a hiding place, although I don’t think it would’ve stopped the mouse from find it. LOL! And I totally agree with you. If you have other people in the house, you have to buy enough for everyone!

  4. There are no secrets at my house. My man would have donned Rambo gear and outfitted the whole house in rodent killing machines. And the chocolate…if the mouse didn’t get it, my daughter would have snatched it up within the hour. So of course I just make sure I eat it all. 🙂

  5. That’s a great story! My husband wouldn’t dare touch my chocolate bar, not even too spare me from encountering a mouse. And, he’s a terrible liar so I’d know it anyway.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    • My man wouldn’t touch my chocolate either, Patricia, at least, not without me being right there beside him. LOL! He’s obviously a good liar, though, because he had me almost believing that I had taken up sleepwalking and middle-of-the-night snacking. 🙂

  6. Hi, Sheila! Fun post. I’m usually the one in my household who skirts the truth because Roy hits the roof on certain issues, and yep, it’s easier to just avoid that.

  7. The mouse ate your chocolate bar–and iits wrapper? That reminds me of the time my cousin’s dog devoured a bowl full of Hersey’s Kisses, silver wrappers and all. How do we know the dog ate the candies? Shiny, silvery bits in its poop.

    If my family got rid of a mouse without involving me, I’d bake them a cake–chocolate, of course.

    • Yes, the mouse at the chocolate bar, Pat. Hmmm, I’m not sure about the wrapper, though. I just assumed he’d taken it somewhere to build a nest which I worried about for weeks afterward! I don’t think I baked my men a cake (good idea, though!) but I was very thankful they took care of the little problem without involving me. 🙂

  8. Coleen Patrick

    I would be happy to be in the dark on that truth too! Ew–I would’ve stressed far more if I’d known there was a mouse. 🙂

    • Ewww, is right, Coleen. I had to throw out most of my tupperware because he’d left evidence of his presence INSIDE them. And our toaster was toast because he’d found his way into there, too. Must’ve been all of the lovely crumbs in the bottom that attracted him. 🙂

  9. Reetta Raitanen

    Eating someone else’s chocolate is low but I have been guilty of it. I can understand hiding the existence of the mouse. I would have gotten really anxious if there were rodents in the house but there’s not much I could do about it except fuss.

    My family doesn’t have to hide much from me since I’m relaxed about most things. But if I need to throw old food away, I do it in secret since my husband hates waste. He sometimes even eats moldy bread which is taking it too far in my opinion.

    • Yes, apparently my men didn’t want me turning the house upside down, which I’ve been known to do on occasion. 🙂 Moldy bread? I’d throw out old food in secret, too, Reetta!

  10. Christy Hayes

    If chocolate went missing in my house, I’d have too many suspects to pin down just one–including my two dogs. I can hide most treats from my husband and son, but my daughter is too sneaky. She finds everything! A mouse in the house would put me over the edge. I’d sacrifice all the chocolate in the world to get the little booger out!

  11. I can’t say that’s happened, but your story reminded me of how much I hate mice. yuck

  12. I think your family made the right choice! Better to find out about the mouse after that fact! Cute story, Sheila!

  13. They made a very good choice and do know how to take care of me when I need it, Marcia. 🙂

  14. That bad, nasty mouse. Learned his lesson the hard way. It was good that the men in your life did get you upset about the little critter, but rather took care of it quietly.

    • Yes, very thoughtful. Despite the fact that I spent days trying to solve the mystery of the missing chocolate, I would rather that than know about the mouse. LOL!

  15. Considering the fact that my family believes I am certifiable, they feel no reservation about giving it to me straight. And when it comes to critters, I’m the one they come to for help.

    After all, they remind me that I am the garden/nature-loving lady! These are your friends — YOU go take care of them!

    If that isn’t a fine how do you do… 🙂

  16. Karen McFarland

    Okay Sheila, did they really think that you would believe that a mouse ate your chocolate bar and wrapper? That’s pretty far fetched. LOL! Yeah, you’re smarter than that Sheila! Can’t pull a fast one over you! Next time you’re gonna have to hide your chocolate, I can see. 🙂

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