The Difference Between Men & Women

Last weekend we had friends and family over to watch the Atlanta Falcons lose to the San Francisco 49ers. After the game, I cleaned up, got in my pj’s (one of my favorite moments of the day), and eventually wound up on the couch with a fire going and a funny movie on the television.

One of the 14 lights left on...

One of the 14 lights left on…

Let me stop right here and say that ending up on the couch watching TV is very unusual for me. When I get tired, I go to bed. But it was early, and the fire was nice, and I was kind of in the mood to veg. Needless to say, I fell asleep and woke up after midnight. My husband had turned in hours before and left me sleeping on the couch.

In our daily routine, I’m the one who goes to bed before him and leaves him on the couch where he’s usually fallen asleep. I try to wake him and tell him to come to bed, but he usually says, “I’ll be right there,” and stumbles to bed hours later. This is typical. What is also typical is for me to leave him on the couch with one tiny light on so he can find his way.

I woke up at 12:22 am with every light in the house blazing. If anyone had driven past our house, they would have thought we were having a rocking party. By the time I got in bed after turning off all 14 lights (yes, I counted), I was pretty much awake. There was no stumbling into bed with my eyes half open so as not to wake up too much. Oh, no. I was wide-awake and fuming.

How does someone slip under the covers with every light in the house burning bright when the only other occupants are sound asleep? How, I ask you?? I am grateful that he did have the foresight to turn off the gas logs. So, if he can turn off the gas logs, why didn’t it occur to him to turn off the lights? I just don’t get it!

So this, my friends, is when I realized I didn’t need to waste another second wondering how this happened. He’s a man. I’m a woman. We think differently and prioritize differently. After almost twenty years of marriage, I can’t train him to turn out the lights and he can’t train me keep a neater office. It is what it is.

Men. Can’t live with them without getting mad, but absolutely can’t live without them. I’ll take tripping over shoes and shutting off lights any day to a life spent without him. Tell me, Women Unplugged, what are your partner’s irritating habits?

About Christy Hayes

A wife, a mother and a writer of romantic women's fiction. I love dogs, exercise and cable news.

Posted on January 28, 2013, in Blog Posts. Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Christy. we live parallel lives! My husband has to turn every light on in every room and the television. Then, he’ll move to another room and do the same thing WITHOUT turning off all the lights and TV in the previous room. It makes me crazy! I have to follow behind him and turn off all the things he’s left on or we’d have an electric bill three times its normal size. But, as you say, if he made a list of the things I do that irk him, it might be just as long. 🙂

  2. Don’t get ME started either! My husband turns on the television in whatever room he’s passing through and then goes outside or wherever and does whatever he does. What the heck? And then he yells at the kids for leaving on the lights in the bedrooms!

    • Don’t get ME started on the kids. I guess they don’t have a chance considering their father’s habits!

  3. Our garbage can is under the kitchen bar counter. It has a door. But he will set his trash on the counter right above it. I keep asking him where the button is that magically sucks it through the granite countertop but he keeps ignoring me. I guess I have to find it myself. O.o

    And the tea pitcher. We always have sweet tea made. But when it’s gone, he’ll either put the empty pitcher back in the fridge or set it out on the counter and leave. It’s like a batman signal in the sky for me to see “Make the tea!”

    Don’t even get me started about the bathroom. That’s an entire post.


  4. In our relationship, Christy, my husband is totally the responsible one. He’s a neat freak, so everything is in it’s proper place. He spent years as a volunteer firefighter, so he’s super alert about household safety. He’s even a better cook than I am. I often tell him I should’ve been the man in the house and he should’ve been the woman. 🙂 Our kids definitely take after me!

    • I’d probably be miserable with someone I couldn’t nag, Sheila 🙂 But I would enjoy the cooking!

  5. Ditto what Sheila said … until I found myself living the life of the gay divorcee … not too gay. I learned quickly that trying to play both roles makes you tired and the kids confused. But do I miss slipping under the cold edge of the bowl in the dark when he “forgot” to put the seat down? No 🙂 Fun post Christy … enjoy the differences while you can.

    • I wouldn’t want to go it alone, Florence, so I don’t envy you that experience. I guess I have trained him well, because I haven’t sat on the toilet rim in a very long time!

  6. As you know Christy – I was the one who left lights on – it drove Dad nuts. I am even worse now – I have lights on all over the house and the TV going in most rooms – mostly for the noise. The house is much too quite now, but you know why. I would give anything to have to put up with his annoying habits again – he was the one with TV’s going all over the house and that made me nuts.

  7. TOTALLY. And the the sooner we stop fighting this universal truth, the better we’ll ALL be. 🙂

  8. Truth. It’s easier to deal with those little idiosyncrasies when we can come at them with this perspective, right?

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