Roads Once Traveled
It was unexpected, the journey my soul took over what was a busy weekend for me.
Saturday’s plans had me in Kansas City North*, where I grew up. Between errands I seized the opportunity to drive the streets of my childhood neighborhood.
I was self-aware, cruising in my car that day. I thought, This is me driving these same roads I traversed countless times for years. It’s the same me in physical presence, and really so similar in spirit, despite many personal metamorphoses.
I took in the surroundings—laid tangibly around me and upon my heart—remembering people and experiences and life as it was then, comparing it to now. I happily recognized an overlap of two people at once: the girl I used to be, and the woman she has become. Both were renewed.
That day my inner self was delighted, and at peace. She said, “Hello, you, it’s good to be home,” and was comforted.
Sunday’s doings had me driving rural routes outside the city. They were roadways common to me in my early twenties, when I married and was transplanted. Again some deep part of me took notice, reconciling who I was then with who I am today.
Those roads were significant too, but in less joyful ways. Those roads are tied to a part of my life that came to mean more hurt and suffering than love and contentment. As I revisited those surroundings there was no comfort, no feeling of home, to be had.
On Sunday I drove as if, instead of laying down miles, I was laying down bits of regret, the years of me that I want to let go. And my inner self said, “Goodbye, you. It is well, you are done, no need to return. May you continue in peace.”
I covered a lot of ground last weekend, both literally and figuratively. I think I came full circle, forsaking one part of my spirit for another. For that I’m thankful.
What’s been your most recent experience with introspection and personal growth?
*Note: Kansas City North and North Kansas City are not interchangeable terms, though many people use one when they mean the other. Kansas City North (also called The Northland by locals) refers to the general northern region of the metropolis. North Kansas City is a suburb within KC North, its own town with an individual identity. Does it matter? Probably not. But I wanted to clarify anyway.