Two Years Later

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Before this week is done, time will mark two years since the day I stood in court and was granted a dissolution of marriage. I could feel my heart in my ears, my neck was red and splotchy. I had never wanted something so badly, and my spirit had never needed anything more.

Two years. Calendar-wise I know that’s nothing. A blip when compared against the fullness of life. But when I think about what I’ve gained in these twenty-four months, I am humbled. And so thankful.

Perspective. Acceptance. Peace. Self-confidence. Clarity. Growth. Responsibility. Beginnings. Independence. Release. Courage. Strength. Freedom.

I have leaned on family and friends. Immersed myself in resources like Since My Divorce and Divorced Moms. Relived the marriage, analyzed why it failed, and why I needed out for my own health, and my daughters’ sakes. I have let go of regret, guilt, judgment.

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I have transitioned from stay-at-home mom and wife to single mom who works full-time. I’ve learned what it means to be in charge of everything. How to rely on Janna, listen to that inner voice, trust myself.

I have talked to and casually dated men, each of whom has played a role in this process of mine. Through them I’ve learned more about who I am, about what I deserve, and what I both want and need in a romantic future. And I have found faith in what will be. Nevermind what was.

I have embraced my single status. I do things for myself, relish the quiet, make the most of my “me time.”

What I’m most proud of, what I’m most grateful for, is the strength of my relationship with my two girls. We have been through a lot, but have held on tight. If I’d done all I mentioned above and lost sight of my girls and their needs, I’d have failed. But I haven’t failed. I have graduated from victim and divorcee to healthy woman and mom. I’m happy. I feel like I should celebrate!

And I wonder what awaits me in the two years ahead. I can hardly wait to see.

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About Janna

writer, editor, marketing assistant, resume consultant, mom, wannabe philosopher, advocate, and possibilitarian / you can call me Janna

Posted on October 16, 2013, in Blog Posts and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Well done, Janna. Life isn’t always easy. It is a four letter word, in fact. 🙂 But you’re living it your way, on your terms. Be proud of the role model you are for your daughters. Celebrate today and everyday!

  2. You should be proud of how far you’ve come and the woman you’ve discovered in the process. Your daughters (and any future romantic partner) can only love and respect you if you love and respect yourself. Hope you continue on this upward trajectory. Happy to know you along the way 🙂

  3. I’m proud and happy for you, dear Janna!

  4. You’ve learned to rely on yourself. That’s a great step from married to divorced and doing well.
    Congratulations!

  5. It sounds like you’ve had a tough road, but how wonderful to hear/read that you came out on top. What a beautiful thing. I’m very happy for you, happy for all you’ve learned and been blessed with. I’m sure your family and friends couldn’t be happier to see you enjoying a happy place in life, especially after seeing you through the tough parts. Take care!

    • I’m thankful for the tough road, when it comes down to it.

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment, Linda! Best to you.

  6. It’s so wonderful to get to the point in one’s life where you’re happy, Janna. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to take that first step toward where you are today, but I’m thrilled that you have come out on the bright side of life. Be happy…always. 🙂

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