When Fiction and Non-Fiction Collide

Rolling Stone

photo credit: vagabondblogger via photopin cc

Many of my books can be classified as New Adult fiction. What is New Adult fiction, you ask? According to this 2013 article in USA Today, New Adult novels explore the terrifying and wonderful chasm between adolescence and adulthood. Since I’m farther removed from that chasm than I’d like to admit, when one of my writing loops posted a link to this Rolling Stone article about millennials and their views on sex and marriage, I clicked over to have a look see.

And then I wanted to pour bleach in my eyes.

Never had the acronym WTF been more appropriate. Seriously, WTF, people?

I’m not sure what disturbed me more: the 30’s couple in an open relationship where she had a secondary boyfriend she saw once a week outside of her live-in boyfriend, the 20-year-old female college junior who’s had 29 sexual partners, or the 24-year-old drummer who is 95 percent monogamous because when, “…you find someone that’s just so amazing that it would be irresponsible on your life’s trajectory not to [sleep with them], then that’s what the five percent is for. I don’t want to ever feel like I missed out.”

Missed out on what? Genital herpes? Syphilis? Holy cow, Dorothy, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore…

Anyone who’s ever read one of my blogs knows I’m happy in the conservative corner of the room, but really? Really? Is this truly how our next generation views sex and marriage? Say it isn’t so. Somebody out there SAY IT ISN’T SO! I’m begging you…

photo credit: vagabondblogger via photopin cc

About Christy Hayes

A wife, a mother and a writer of romantic women's fiction. I love dogs, exercise and cable news.

Posted on May 26, 2014, in Blog Posts and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. I’m sure that’s not a representative sample of NAs, but the Kardashians have replaced the Waltons. Instead of Bill Cosby and the Huxtable Family we have Breaking Bad and Teen Mom.

  2. Well, Christy…living with 2 teenagers (boy just turned 20 and girl is 15) I hear a lot of stories that don’t make me very happy about what’s going on “out there” sex-wise. Being a woman who grew up in the “free love” time of the 60’s and 70’s not much surprises me. However, what I’m hearing is that young people who are in middle school are drinking and getting pregnant and keeping their babies, etc…and it’s rough out there. Obviously, with a program like “16 and Pregnant” on MTV, it’s definitely happening! My daughter is not interested in sex at all and believes it should be with the one you love and she seems to subscribe to monogamy. My son hasn’t really had a girlfriend yet, but he has had sex which is disconcerting to me since my response was, “You don’t have a girlfriend, so whoever it is, she’s sleeping with everyone else too!” I wouldn’t want to be growing up in these times for many reasons and the “sex” thing is really problematic.

    • Society is making sex seem like no big deal, when in reality it is–if for no other reason than the consequences, both emotionally and physically, of having it. Thanks for adding your personal two cents.

  3. Each generation of parents seems to have a new battle to fight. It makes me wonder what the next generation of parents will have to face. I’m sooooo glad my children are grown up. 🙂

  4. Christy, I’d like to believe they are not representative. Then on the other hand the “flavor” of reality TV makes me barf. I am very glad my kids are grown … however … I have teen age grandchildren. I am so grateful that my son and his wife have kept them busy with wonderful activities, sports and clubs. It’s been hard for them but great for my twin girl/boy grandkids.

    I think of Victorian times and the generations that followed. I often think our civilization goes in cycles that are more up and down than around and around … so perhaps our kid’s kids will be more conservative. I’d like to think so 🙂

    • All I can do is model a happy marriage and hope they want the same. But, wow, I don’t envy them making their way in this crazy world! Thanks for the pep talk 🙂

  5. I read an article a few months ago (I think it was in the New York Times) about the hookup culture on college campuses. A pervasive belief among young women is that a serious relationship will get in the way of their education and career goals, so they should’t be looking for a boyfriend in college. As someone who married her college sweetheart (I was 18 when we met), I shudder at that idea. Yes, I made some compromises. I didn’t study abroad as I had planned, but I had decided to change my major anyway, from international affairs to English. Hooking up with strangers (and getting drunk first because you can’t go through with it sober) is not the way to a happy, fulfilling life. And something no one seems to pay attention to anymore is that a woman’s fertility drops off dramatically after age 30. You have a lifetime to build your career, and a limited window to have a family. If you want a family (and not everyone does), there’s nothing wrong with making that your first priority. My generation and my mother’s didn’t struggle for equal rights so that today’s young women could have unhappy and unfulfilling love lives. The point of feminism is not that career should come first. The point is that you should have the right to do whatever makes you happy. And I don’t believe that hookups make most women happy.

    • I agree, Andrea. So many people don’t talk about fertility issues in women over 30. The problem is, you don’t know if you’ll have trouble conceiving until you try and if you put it off too long, you might be too late. Of course, this assumes everyone wants a family…

      I, too, met my husband in college and my life’s projected trajectory changed–for the better. I may not have set the world on fire in my twenties, but I’m much more equipped to blaze a trail in my forties and I’ve got two great kids and a life partner to boot.

      Wonderful perspective, as usual!

  6. Janna Qualman

    I’m in line after you with that bleach…

    Hearing things like this makes me so nervous about bringing up my two tween girls in this world.

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